


Perfect

by iamliterallyahotpocket



Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Bruises, Choking, Eating Disorder (implied), Emotional Manipulation, I am Going to Fight the CEO, Threatening, anyway time for serious tags oops, blood (mentioned), daehyun is also a sweetheart, diets (mentioned), dongho has big pecs and an even bigger heart, free the diddies, give dongho croptops he is sexc, i did not mean to write multiple paragraphs of sleepy jaewon but here we go folx, minsoo is a gamer boy, minsoo is a sweetheart, not the sexy kind tho, sleepy jaewon makes me go uwu, yes daehyun plays animal crossing i make the rules here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27055015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamliterallyahotpocket/pseuds/iamliterallyahotpocket
Summary: Being perfect is just a state of mind, so why do people demand it?
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Everyone
Comments: 3
Kudos: 91





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jjolee](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=jjolee).



> Hello! Jjolee posted some lovely art that inspired me to write this fic, go check it out! https://twitter.com/_jjolee/status/1315395043453263879?s=21

The bustle backstage is familiar now to Jaewon, makeup artists and stylists dashing around the small dressing rooms to make sure everyone's appearance is perfect. It makes him feel like some sort of doll, even more so during promotions. That won't be happening for a month or so, which is a small comfort.

Until then, however, Jaewon knows he's going to be hounded by his manager (and most of the stylists) to stay on top of his diet and skincare. Comebacks, although rewarding, are oh-so taxing. But with the CEO and his craving for scandals, Mayhem will probably be coming back sooner rather than later, and at Jaewon’s expense.

"Wyld-ssi, you're up next for photos."

"Thank you, noona." Jaewon does his best to smile politely at the makeup artist. She's been with the company since Mayhem's debut- now almost three years- and it's only because of her that the CEO hasn't been exposed for his horrible mistreatment of Mayhem, specifically that of Wyld.

She's seen the aftermath of every single one of the manufactured scandals Wyld's forced into, all the marks that get left behind on his skin- the same skin that needs to be as clear and as perfect as fucking glass. And every single time, she works her magic with all her multicolored pallets and no one else has to know what happened to Wyld the night before.

Before making his way to the set, Jaewon takes a last glance at himself in the mirror. _Absolute perfection_. As per usual, the stylists go above and beyond. His skin is clear and unblemished, almost glowing in the fluorescent lighting, his cherry red hair elegantly disheveled, and his outfit is one he's grown very familiar with: a mostly unbuttoned dress shirt (probably designer) paired with ripped black skinny jeans, and a choker.

He gulps, tugging a finger at the choker. It's not like the thin fabric ones he wore for past comebacks. This one is heavy, patent leather with gleaming silver hardware. The weight of it is off-putting, but other than that Jaewon doesn't mind it too much. It's much better at hiding his neck. Despite the collar and the foundation, as he stares in the mirror he swears he can still see the bruises that he knows are lurking just below the polished image he’s forced to present.

_I shouldn't be so used to that._

Jaewon smiled bitterly before heading away from the dressing room. Outside, the shoots for the album covers were in full swing. Minsoo and Daehyun were hanging around the snack table, glancing towards Dongho and poking fun at the utter impracticality of his outfit. The oldest had been given a cropped turtleneck for the photoshoot, and was more than likely going to end up wearing it for some performance in the future.

Jaewon joined the other two at the snack table, ignoring the plates of pastries set out and instead grabbing a bottle of water to sip at.

Somehow, the other three never seemed to look as fake as he did. Even with the makeup and the hours spent at salons to bleach and tone their hair, Jaewon was the only fake one. It made sense, in an odd way. They hadn't been forced to take on some persona for three years, they weren't forced to deal with their fans assuming the worst because of a false reputation. They were free enough to be themselves, and the hair and makeup did nothing to change that.

"Wyld-ssi, you're up!"

Dongho rushes off the set towards the snack table, and Jaewon hangs back long enough to witness him beginning to scold the other two. Before the oldest turns to him, however, he makes his way over to the set, where the photography staff are more than happy to direct him into his poses.

It's a basic enough photoshoot. The set itself is simple- plain white, with custom red "MAYHEM" police tape strewn about. A black stool is right in the middle, and the staff are quick to direct him to sit backwards, facing the camera, crossing his arms in front of him on the back of the chair. Jaewon does so quickly, cocking an eyebrow as the camera shutter starts clicking.

"Very good, Wyld-ssi! Tilt your head to the right a bit, I want to see that necklace."

Again, he simply follows orders, playing the role of his manufactured persona. The photos continue for quite a while, poses changing and new props being brought in.

"Alright, last ones for today. Wyld-ssi, if you could loop your fingers through that loop on your choker- yes, very nice! Tilt your head back, eyes toward the camera still-"

And, in true Wyld fashion, Jaewon goes above and beyond. He plasters a smirk on his face, tongue teasing at his bottom lip, and lets his head hang, his grip on the ring of the choker being the only thing keeping him upright. The cameras flash again and again and he changes his pose ever-so-slightly: biting his lip, half-shutting his eyes, moving his fingers so that they slip under the thick leather and press uncomfortably against his neck - it doesn't matter, the photos do.

"Thank you, Wyld-ssi! That was great. If you want to look at some of them, feel free to!" The camera man waves him over to the screens where, sure enough, his photos are blown up to cover the whole screen.

Some of the staff click through the selection, pointing out details they'll "need to edit." His waist is a common editing point, his thighs a close second. Other than that, they say, the photos are perfect.

Jaewon gets swept backstage again for makeup touch-ups and then was time for group shots.

The hour-long shoot blinked by and he was left with no memory of the poses, the instructions, even what the pre-edit photos look like. All he could remember was that the moment he got off the set, he was informed that the CEO wanted to talk to him as soon as possible.

Minsoo sighed and tugged a hand through his previously styled silver hair. "You heard him, Wyld. We're done with the photos, so I think you'd better go. I'll see you at the dorm?"

"Sure thing, hyung. See you later." Jaewon shoves his stuff in his backpack, not having time to change, before being dragged out to a company car by his manager.

His manager glances back at him, one hand on the steering wheel. “You didn't get into another scandal, did you?"

"No? I haven't gone out for three or four weeks now, too busy with dance practices and all that."

"Good to know. Be sure to get those clothes back to the stylists, ok Wyld?"

"Yes sir."

It's a long drive to the company building from the photo studio. Long enough for Jaewon to realize that this wasn't going to be a pleasant meeting.

———

"Hello, Wyld. Did the photo shoot go well?"

"Yes sir."

The CEO smiles. It's unsettling, even more so given what the man considers to be good press coverage. "Nobody noticed anything off then, I'm assuming?"

"The makeup artist you hire does a good job."

"Good. Now, as you may have guessed, your comeback is going to be much sooner than anticipated. You're going to be helping out an old friend of mine this weekend, and in turn we'll be getting plenty of press."

Jaewon shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "I- I don't think that's the best idea. To move the comeback earlier."

"Oh?"

"We're already busy enough as it is trying to prepare for the comeback, and something's bound to get missed if we try to cut time-"

"Shut up." The CEO stands up from his chair and walks around the table.

Jaewon knows what's coming.

Roughly, the back of his choker is grabbed and yanked backwards, pressing the thick leather into his windpipe.

"I call the shots here, Wyld. You should know that better than anyone. Do I need to remind you that Mayhem is still in debt to me? Three years, Wyld!"

"I'll do it," Jaewon chokes. "Please, I'll do it."

The pressure on his neck releases and Jaewon gasps for air, the edges of his vision blurred.

"Just as I expected. I'll let you know the full details in a few days. For now, I think you should probably head back to your dorm. I've heard you've got a very busy schedule these next few weeks, make sure you're well rested."

———

It's late when Jaewon gets back to the dorms. Minsoo and Daehyun are playing Mario Cart, Dongho's cleaning up the dishes from dinner. He's also the first to notice that Jaewon's returned.

"Hey Jaewon. I put leftovers in the fridge if you want them. Minsoo made some sort of pork stir-fry thing, there's rice too."

"Thanks hyung, but I'm not that hungry right now."

Dongho frowns, but nods. "Alright. Shower's open if you want it."

Jaewon tries to smile. "Ah. I'll probably go shower then. Thank you, Dongho!" He darts off before the older can say anything.

His choker still feels like it's digging into his skin. Even since he left the meeting, it's been too tight, but he doesn't dare take it off.

The door to the room he and Daehyun share is already swung open, most likely Daehyun's doing. It just makes it quicker for Jaewon to drop his backpack next to his dresser and rummage through his clothing for something to hide in.

Eventually he finds the sweatshirt he had in mind. It was a gift from Dongho from some designer brand. The sweatshirt had a mocked layered look, the sleeves red and the body a grayish black, thumbholes in the ends of the sleeves. Jaewon's favorite part is the neckline, a turtleneck made of the same soft material as the rest of the sweatshirt.The fabric runs smoothly against his hands as he pulls it from the back of his dresser drawer. He grabs black sweatpants and a pair of boxers as well before heading to the bathroom.

Jaewon's quick to lock the door behind him after setting his clothing down. Finally, he's able to take off the stupid dress shirt, silky fabric clinging to his skin in a way that's less than pleasant. He makes sure to fold it carefully, ensuring it's in perfect condition for when he returns it to the stylists.

He fumbles with the clasp on his choker next. His neck aches, new bruises probably forming on top of half-healed ones, and he's careful not to pull at the leather too much. Eventually it comes undone in Jaewon's hands. He frowns at the makeup that's wiped off on it, but places it next to the dress shirt anyway.

Jaewon doesn't want to look in the mirror. He already knows what he's going to see, and he hates it. He doesn't have much of a choice, however.

There's an obvious line where the choker dug into his skin. Small glimpses of purple and an ugly yellow-green show in the places where his foundation came off. Reluctantly, he grabs the cleansing balm one of the stylists told him to use, the oil quickly dissolving whatever makeup was still left.

Sure enough, a purplish-red band has started to form around his neck, the blues and yellows of older bruises surrounding it. Jaewon can still see the faint handprint left from god knows how long ago, the time when some guy at a bar started threatening him. It was one of the first scandals where he was the victim, and for a short while, he had a little less hate to deal with.

Since then, it’s tempting to “slip up,” to accidentally post a selfie where his neck isn't covered, or to do a livestream and accidentally shift the neck of his sweater. But it would only harm the others, something Jaewon is far too aware of. People will question why they never noticed, or even if they were the ones hurting Wyld. It's too risky to really consider, no matter how much he craves some kind of positive attention.

He hurries to remove the rest of his makeup before turning on the shower. As usual, he stands back to let the water heat up more and makes sure that the clothes from the photoshoot are neatly folded.

When Jaewon finally steps into the spray of water, it’s burning hot. He doesn’t care. The heat relaxes his muscles, and the slight sting of the water against his skin distracts his mind from anything else. His mind shuts up for a while, and instead he can drift through the process of scrubbing the hairspray off his scalp.

The hot water does nothing to keep the awful red color in his hair. He’s used to seeing red-ish water dripping down his body and onto the floor. Every time, there’s always a moment where he thinks it’s blood. He used to panic, but now he couldn’t care less.

Maybe he’ll dye it himself someday. Something softer would be nice.

By the time he steps out of the shower, already shivering in the colder air, his skin is a bright pink, fingers wrinkled. He grabs his towel, a thick navy one, off of the towel rack and wraps himself in the plush fabric. His hair is dripping, red rivulets trailing down his cheeks. Jaewon runs a smaller towel over his face and pats it through his hair. He doesn’t have the energy to blow dry it tonight.

His eyes catch the mirror again. It’s a stupid anti-fogging one Minsoo bought, insisting that it would make it easier to do skincare after showering. It does help, most of the time. Now it just serves as a bitter reminder that Jaewon is anything but perfect.

His cheekbones and collarbones stick out too much, dark circles are forming under his eyes. It’s his eyes that scare him. They look dull, and just so tired. It makes sense. He is tired, too tired to go through the multiple steps of the skincare regime. Instead he pats on his moisturizer and calls it a night.

Once he’s pulled his pajamas on, Jaewon relaxes more, almost melting into the soft fabrics. He pads out to the living room and sinks into the armchair next to the sofa.

Minsoo glances up from his spot on the couch and frowns before heading towards the bathroom. Dongho, sat on the other side of the couch, doesn’t look up from his book, and Daehyun’s nestled in the overstuffed beanbag in the corner, playing animal crossing.

“Sit up more, Jaewon.” Minsoo’s returned from the bathroom, stupidly expensive cordless blowdryer in hand. “You can’t go to bed with wet hair, it doesn’t style well when it’s dried like that.”

Hot air starts blowing against his head, Minsoo carding his fingers through Jaewon’s damp hair. It’s relaxing, and Jaewon, already half asleep, struggles to keep his eyes open.

“You should head to bed soon.”

“Mmhm.”

“Meetings tire you out, huh?”

Jaewon nods sleepily, Minsoo still working on his hair.

“I’m almost done, don’t worry.”

Sure enough, the blowdryer clicks soon clicks off. Minsoo ruffles his hair, fluffing it up more.

“Alright, time to go to bed. We’ve got an early start tomorrow.”

Jaewon nods again, quick to drift off toward his room. Daehyun follows soon after, and they can hear Minsoo and Dongho walking around the apartment, checking for anything that’s been dropped where it’s not supposed to be.

As usual, the bunk ladder creaks when Jaewon climbs up it and collapses onto his mattress. Daehyun laughs quietly and he, too, reaches out to ruffle Jaewon’s hair.

“Good night, hyung. Sleep well!”

Darkness settles over the room after a few moments. Jaewon shifts around in his bed, sliding under his blankets. He can hear Daehyun moving around as well, plugging in his phone and closing the blinds. Eventually it’s quiet, save for the buzzing of the white noise. Daehyun, as usual, is quick to drift off to sleep.

Jaewon lies awake for a while longer. It’s comfortable to lay there, in the nest of blankets and pillows that he calls his bed, hugging the shark plushie that a fan gave him. The neck of his sweatshirt is gentle against his bruised skin, hands hidden in the much-too-long sleeves.

For once, he’s too tired to let his mind wander and dwell on all the little imperfections that he suffers from. Jaewon’s warm and comfortable, and he’s safe at home. For once, he falls asleep quickly.


End file.
